Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize