PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
