One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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