I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
worst night to have a conscience
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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