i just had sex bonerless
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
