Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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