ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
