There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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