Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
