The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
