i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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