party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
should my penis look like a turkey
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
