whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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