So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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