I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
now i know why i became what i already was.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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