After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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