She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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