Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
