he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
