You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
