I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize