I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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