oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
