She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
