You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
