Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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