Sober January is a disaster.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
