so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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