if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
