i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
