You just made me feel so damn special
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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