We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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