eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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