I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
