So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
