everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
