i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize