i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
