I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
