he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
