then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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