Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize