It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
