problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
