I am puke
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
