Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Randomize
