I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
