If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
did i walk over a car last night?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
