all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize