Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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