I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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