hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
