we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
We talked him into tasing himself.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
