i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
