I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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