In the future we'll all be gay
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize