Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
