I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
