I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize