If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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