apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
We got so high we made milksteak
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
