She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
