Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize