i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
