He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
