I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
