from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
