You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
